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And now for something completely different...

Three childhood friends had grown up to become ministers. One was a Unitarian, the second was a Pentecostal, and the third was a Baptist. They were all back in their home town one weekend and decided to go fishing together at the local lake. The went out in a boat, leaving all but a small supply of cold beverages in a cooler in the shade by the shore.

As the day went on and the sun got hot, the Unitarian got up and said "I guess I should get some more of the cold stuff," and he got out of the boat and walked across the water to the shore. He grabbed a few drinks and walked back to the boat. A couple hours later they were out again and the Pentecostal said it must be his turn and also walked across the water to the shore, grabbed some cold ones and walked back.

The day went on, the drinks ran out again and the Unitarian turned to the Baptist and said "It's your turn to get the drinks!" Well, the Baptist gritted his teeth, took a deep breath and stepped out of the boat. He sunk. He managed to get back to the surface and swam to the shore, grabbed what drinks he thought he could carry and swam back.

As he climbed back into the boat, the Unitarian said to the Pentecostal, "So should we tell him where the rocks are?"

And the Pentecostal replied, "What rocks?"

WARNING! Cow Joke Ahead!!!

Many eons ago someone invented a rather humorous joke about a farmer telling his wife about the "new-fangled" praise choruses (commonly referred to as "contemporary worship music" these days). The joke has surfaced on every church music e-mail list many times over the years, has been told, retold, and E-mailed to everyone on the planet at least 20 times.

The joke just will not die! It has taken a life of it's own, and now in order to keep it under control, it is receiving its own web page!

The actual jokes are below, and you would think that they were bad enough, but nooooo. As if they weren't enough, some of us came up with songs that are based on both the original and sequel. They have their own page here.

The Original!

A Farmer was in the city on business one weekend. While he was there, he attended one of the city's churches. Upon returning home, his wife asked him what it was like at the city church.

"Oh, it was a lot like our country church, except they sang these things called 'praise choruses' instead of hymns."

"Praise choruses? What are those?" asked the wife.

"Well, they're sort of like hymns, just different."

"Different how?"

"Well… it's sort of like this. If I said, Martha, the cows are in the corn, it would be a hymn.

"Now if I said, 'Martha, Martha, Martha, the cows, the white cows, the brown cows, the black cows, the cows, the cows, the cows, are in the corn, in the corn, the corn. Oh, Martha, the cows are in the corn,' that would be a praise chorus!"

The Sequel!

It just so happened that the same weekend, a businessman was in the country and went to a country church. Upon returning home, his wife asked him how the service was.

"Pretty much the same as ours, except we sang hymns instead of praise choruses."

"Hymns?" his wife replied, "I think my mother told me about those! What were they like?"

"Oh, sort of like a praise chorus except different."

"And that difference would be?"

"All right, if I were to say, Mary, the cows are in the corn, that would be a praise chorus.

"On the other hand, if I said: 'O Mary, wife of my youth with whom I shall all of my days abide, Incline thine ear and hearken unto my cry! For the cows of varying shades and hues - who can explain their ways? Have left the fields in which they graze and have traversed yonder into the fields of golden corn that gleams in the sun.' THAT would be a hymn!"

I tried to warn you.

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